The Art of Pranking, or: How To Destroy Your Worst Enemy
by inazumera
Summary: [Fanfiction of murkybluematter's Rigel Black Chronicles] To no one's surprise, Rigel won the tournament. However, things don't go according to Riddle's plan…


**Hi! So, this was born after reading FF6, because I was very, very angry at Riddle and wanted him to get humiliated. It's short, but it was fun to write! You better have read The Pureblood Pretense and its sequels; otherwise, this won't make sense.**

[DmDmDm]

Absolutely to no one's surprise, Rigel won the tournament.

Draco contained a sigh of relief when he saw his stupid, _stupid_ friend approach the podium, his cousin and that Granger girl trailing behind him. He seemed unharmed, and his face was as blank as usual, but there was… _something_ in his expression, in the storm of feelings Draco was catching with his Empathy, that didn't fit.

Riddle got up from his seat and grasped hands with the three winners, unabashedly taking Rigel's the longest. He was grinning like a shark, like everything was going according to plan, which, if the plan was what Draco suspected, it probably was.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Riddle's silky voice announced, stopping the public's mutterings at once. "Today, thanks to Mr. Black's frankly spectacular achievements, we finally have unquestionable proof of pureblood superiority. An applause for our winner!"

Rigel, who was already on the first-place platform, made a flowery reverence at the public's enthusiastic cheerings. The position he was in obscured his face, but Draco could finally discern the strange feeling: _amusement_.

Rigel Black, the ultimate non-pureblood ally, was amused at the fact that half of his family was going to be excluded from everything from now on. And his cousin, the halfblood, was smiling from ear to ear!

What the bloody hell?

(Draco felt his stomach drop—something was up, and it was probably no good.)

At last, Rigel ended his reverence, but when he straightened—

—his eyes were green.

 _Oh no_ , Draco thought, as the public went eerily silent. His gaze slid to Rigel's cousin, but it wasn't her, wasn't it, who was standing there with grey eyes and a grin stretched from ear to ear? _Oh, Merlin._

 _They had_ switched.

"Would you care to say that again, Riddle?" Harry Potter, who was standing in the first place platform, asked softly, defiantly raising her chin. "I think you said something about 'undeniable pureblood superiority'. Well, your winner is a halfblood. Do you still think that?"

Riddle's expression was obscured, but Draco could see him trembling with rage. Nobody dared make a sound—well, nobody except the real Rigel Black, who, in all his stupidity, was leaning against Harry's platform, roaring with laughter.

"He fell for it! I can't believe he fell for it!" he said in between gasps. "Best. Prank. Ever."

Beside Draco, his father was nearing cardiac arrest. Draco couldn't blame him, because he was honestly in the same condition. _Dammit, Rigel, even an "hey, Draco, going to be disguised as my cousin to destroy the world's most dangerous man's political party, don't panic" would've been enough._

 _(No, it wouldn't. It really, really wouldn't.)_

Riddle's voice was low. "You dare… You _dare_ trick me… No," he spat, "trick us. You have disgraced this honorable tournament with your cheating—"

"Oh, honestly!" the Granger girl interrupted, hands to her hips. She was buck-toothed and bushy-haired. She also was suicidal. "Don't try to twist this to your favor! Harry won fair and square, and you know it! Weren't you the one who said h—uh, _she_ had performed 'frankly spectacular achievements'?"

She looked down her nose at him—even from the second-place platform, she stood higher than Riddle.

"And even if his win is invalid – which it's _not_ , by the way –, I, a _muggleborn,_ am the second place! Frankly, your campaign is fucking bullshit, and this is undeniable proof!" she cried, and then blushed to the roots of her hair when she realized what she'd said. _Americans_. "So, uh, yeah."

Harry covered a grin with her hand. "What she said."

Rigel was starry-eyed. "Marry me, please."

"Down with the COW!" the Weasley twins chanted, and they were joined by Ron, Ginny, and Sirius Black. Soon, the entire public was shouting, "Down with the COW!"

The Potters and Lupin were alternating between frowning and smiling widely. Professor Snape looked like he was trying not to gape, and Draco's father was outright gaping. Draco himself was frozen in his seat, overwhelmed by the sheer enthusiasm of the people around him.

Riddle looked apoplectic, and his eyes flashed red. "I'll make you suffer, Harry Potter." He seemed to have forgotten he had an audience.

Harry smiled indulgently. "You can try."

"Down with the COW! Down with the COW! Down with the COW!"

Rigel and Harry waved to the public, followed shyly by Granger. Then, they took each other's hands, got off the podium, and approached their families.

Draco looked at his shaking hands, and wondered what he had ever done to have a friend as amazing and bloody stupid as Rigel Black.

"Even though that was a _fantastic_ prank, you're grounded forever," he heard Sirius say. There was no need to see his face to know that he was grinning.

Rigel's core shook with shock. " _Dad_!"

"Shh! Don't dad me, it won't work!"

"Come _on_ , Uncle Sirius! We just _destroyed_ Riddle's party. Don't we deserve a reward?"

Draco buried his face in his hands and _laughed._

 **Thanks for reading! If you see a typo, tell me, please!**


End file.
